As you may know (or not know for those unaware of current affairs-shame on you!), the haze may return on next Monday the 22nd. WTF??!!!! So we have just 3 more days to prepare ourselves for that. So in the spirit of Malaysia Boleh and we are fast getting tired of 'The Biggest Flag' approaching our National Day, wouldn't it be a good idea to break records AND counter haze at the same time?
Picture from The Star.
To quote a famous phrase from a 'custodians of quality' party- Perjuangan yang belum selesai(TM) or Unfinished business (not to be confused with the common mafia term), here's my attempt for
Top 10 (Possible) Malaysian Book of Records to Counter Haze.
10. The Biggest Mass Prayer/Vigil of All Religions
Heading the advice of our beloved PM, over 20 million Malaysian population of all religions/ethnic/age/sex/*insert whatever label you like* should come out from their houses/workplace/wherever and stop whatever they do on SUNDAY, 21st AUGUST 2005 12 NOON (Malaysian time)and PRAY TO GOD for rain. For those lack of religion or do not believe in the existence of God, they should say a little chant: WTF,FYI*!
* Fog You Indonesia (not For Your Information).
9. The Biggest Non-Stop Song Medley Concert
Taken from the inspiration from Bob Geldof and his Live Aid and Live 8, we should have our own version of Life Air. Oh..and sorry...foreign performers are forbidden...the Merdeka concert in Johor Baru, remember?
Quick...we still have a day to go...someone think of a place to suggest. Some song suggestions would be 'Rain, rain, comeback here', 'Listen to the rythm of the pouring rain', 'Breath Easy (by Blue), 'You Took My Breath Away' and any songs related to 'air' and 'rain'.
8. The Largest-Tallest HEPA Filter Ever
Inspired by Ayah Pin's large teapot and umbrella structures and our love for megatowers, we could consider building the largest HEPA filter ever.
It may sound ridiculous,but its never too late to start building that along our coasts as a preparation for our annual celebration of 'Mega Burning Haze Fiesta Carnival'.
7. The Biggest Working Spell Ever Created by Keris Waving
Insipired by 'you-know-who' who likes to wave his keris and Harry Potter's (TM) favourite phrase 'Expecto Petrono'(C), every Malaysian should now start sharpening their knives or any sharp objects and cast a spell 'Expecto Smog-no'.
6. The Most Creative Geneva Award-Worthy Invention Ever
A picture tells a thousand words. Period.
Source: From jymchong/somewhere phishing around the internet. Credits will be given to the original owner if they contact me.
5. The Most Successful Blame Game Ever
Minister Country A 1 : No.
Minister Country B 2 : Yes! 8 of them.
Minister Country A 1 : We will charge them all.
CEOs Country A : We are not involved.
Citizens of Country A and B: WE WANT FRESH AIR!
4. The Most Forgiving/Generous Act Ever
B. Indon : " Takpe, selamat membakar. Bisa dibincang papa."
Cantonese : " Haiya...mou siong kon. Yo!...sai mat pa har...Man si yau siong liong"
Benglish : " NVM, can buln one! Man-man talk har!"
English : " NVM, happy burning. We can talk."
Tamil : Sorry I don't know that...can someone help me out?
3. The Greatest Blowjob Ever by Ayah Pin
No...not that figurative blowjob you dirty-minded. I mean the literally one. Creating the greatest ever job of blowing the haze away into another direction. As Ayah Pin was acclaiming that he has 'special powers' and 'able to communicate with God,' everyone will be grateful for him creating the greatest blowjob ever.
The other two I hand over to you all to add in. I'm just too tired now...gotta hit the beds.