Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Malaysian Motorway Massage Massacre

If you still haven't read about this yet, then you must be living under a coconut shell! With over 85 news articles around the world (mostly mentioning the word 'parlour') dedicated to this 'Malaysian Motorway Massage Service', it was as if Malaysia is having a massacre!

How it all started? Thanks (or no thanks?) to our National News Agency, Bernama:

Service For Tired Drivers

KUALA LUMPUR, March 27 (Bernama) -- In an effort to help reduce road accidents, the North-South Expressway (NSE) operator today introduced a massage service.

Hopefully after the massage, the drivers will be relieved of stress after a long-haul drive.

The first outlet offering the service along the NSE is at the Sungai Buloh Overhead Restaurant. It is a joint effort between Plus Expressways Sdn Bhd and Syarikat OTO Bodycare Sdn Bhd.

"The introduction of the leisure centre known as OTO-PLUS Rejuvenation Point at the Sungai Buloh Overhead Restaurant is the best step to meet the need of highway users who come to this rest area," said Works Minister Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu who opened the centre, Monday.

"The second OTO-PLUS Rejuvenation Point will be at the south-bound Tapah rest and service area in the middle of the year," he said.


"All these figures can change if the people are concerned and aware of the importance of stopping to have a rest to avoid driving when tired and weary." he said.

And then it was also picked up by BBC, questioning whether the service would be free or not and putting a very comprimising photo as well:

It was not immediately clear whether road users would have to pay for services at the massage centre.

Duh! Of course you have to pay lar! Where in Malaysia there's free lunch? 30 sen (USD$ 0.08) even meant a lot to us!

Mumbai Mirror even dedicated a cartoon for us!

The American Chronicle even suggested that their motorway to emulate us, with erotic improvements, of course.

An enterprising entrepreneur should open a chain of drive-in massage parlors located at rest stops along our busiest freeways, and this being America the masseuses and masseurs could wear skimpy outfits.

[sarcasm mode]Yeah, us Malaysians are so horny, sexually frustrated and stressed out driving the motorway that the gomen is more than happy to provide us with some some sexual relief from skimpy clad massage girls throughout the highway to reduce accidents.
[reality mode]Seriously, I won't be surprised if the gomen does the above because a lot of research and even a policy was dedicated towards erecting the limp dick and pumping libido back to our Malaysians.

And guess who's laughing all the way to the bank? Erhmm...would it be too offensive to mention this company which originated across the causeway?

Kennot lar liddat! We need some damage control and brainwashing enlightening for our local and foreign motorway users! Can I suggest PLUS distribute this flyer at toll booths?

Again, the image is not watermark copyrighted so feel free to use it, PLUS.

Instead of misleading the world with pseudo-erotic massage chairs, we should heavily advertise these instead:

The picture of Kucing Galak was strategically place to censor an anatomy part of the cat.

Read the full story for the above pictures here.

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