Sunday, August 13, 2006

The Obsession With Euphemisms

What with this bloke's obsession with animal euphemisms? After monkey...

News-scan by Doc Mave.

Monkey shaking tree? Picture source.

And to quote Doc Mave:

Aiyo, monkey shake, the tree sway ah? Monkey must be very big size, like gorilla or kingkong? Who is the monkey? The tree must be very small or the monkey is very big!!!

What if nothing shake and the tree sway? This is the 7th month of the Chinese Calendar oh... can sway also. aiya, scared lah!!!

And now dogs?



Dogs barking at hills? It will be echoed louder, mate!

Or did he mean this:

Dog barking up a tree. Picture source.

And this is what I got from my forwarded e-mails, specially dedicated to Doc Mave:

What is Marketing?

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says,
"She's fantastic in bed."

- That's Advertising .

You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

- That's Telemarketing .

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You get up and straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie
brushing yourself slightly against his arm, and then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."

- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You talk him into going home with your friend.

- That's a Sales Rep .


Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

- That's Tech Support .

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there
could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center
and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

- That's Spam .

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