Thursday, March 29, 2007

"Bloggers Sow Seeds of Discord Among Races and Religions"

From Bernama:

Government Asked To Curb Bloggers

KUALA LUMPUR, March 29 (Bernama) -- The government has to find ways to curtail bloggers from abusing the Internet to spread lies and defame the leaders, said Datuk Ismail Sabri Yaakob (BN-Bera).

"We notice that a lot of bloggers have been sowing the seeds of discord among the races, religions... I believe there must be a limit," he said in a debate on the royal address in the Dewan Rakyat here today.

He felt that there ought to be a law governing bloggers like those imposed on the print and broadcast media.

"The people believe more in the bloggers than the newspapers... I am aware that a newspaper was censured by the Internal Security Ministry for publishing a sensational story but the bloggers could continue churning out malicious stories," he said.


The bolded brackets should have come with a 'k' somewhere.

Embrace and engage. Not curb them!

Coming to a city near you soon...

If You Are Reading This...

If You Are Reading This...

Shouldn't You* Be Working Now? ;-)


* You know who you are. :P

Kamunting Not Gitmo?

Kamunting Not Gitmo?

[Source: theSun pg. 8]

Of course. ISA = Had. Hari.

If not sure, ask Saari Sungib.

Altantuya's Son DNA Test: So, Is It Out Yet?

[Source]

'Saturday' was the 17th of March.

Tried Googling. Found nothing.

Susan, any pointers?

Malaysia Mudah Lupa.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Search For Mr. Nice Guy

I was caught by surprise when I saw this headline:

[Source]

What? Do you mean that the No.1 all-time Mr. Nice Guy is gone or is he no longer nice?

Well, to be an all-time Mr. Nice Guy, I have some pointers:

1. Come up with flowery slogans. Gal..I mean, people love them. But never keep promises.

2. Knows how to sleep. Not just in bed. At general assemblies too.

3. Having luxurious jets and yachts might come in handy. Can impress international female stars at yachting events too. Oh, the shoulder is the sensitive zone. ;)

4. $$$ matters. Give out RM 60 million to each 'branch'. Nobody hates money.

5. Never disclose relationship/engagement/marriage. Dispel/dodge it as 'rumours' and 'don't believe everything you hear on the internet'. The ear-clasping gesture comes in handy. Even label bloggers as liars.

6. Go travelling around the world. Seldom be at home.

7. Always tell your lovers "I demand majority support/mandate. I still have a lot of work to do."

8. Don't tell everything you do to give your lover(s) a surprise (or the lack thereof). Say "Cannot, cannot tell everything lar".

9. Oh, last but not least. Having some people on the 4th floor to manage your business would be ideal.

Wow, seems more like a P*mp Daddy than a Mr. Nice Guy to me. Have you been p*mped out lately? ;)

Malaysia Towards A Centre Academic Excellence: Water Disrupts, Go On Holiday!

Can you believe this is actually happening?

[Source]

Luckily the research in UUM doesn't really need water. What if it is scientific university that requires more er...water?

The Semi Valued Quote of the Day

[Source: theSun, pg2]

The problem is, one person cooks this, the other person cooks that, one licks the gravy, the other licks some, nothing's left for the rakyat!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Congrats, Jacky Surin!

Do you remember Jacqueline Ann Surin? Yes, she was the one who dared to write an open letter to the PM...

Really, I don't need to be a Muslim or a Malay to have a stake in this country. But even that might be delegitimised because in more ways than one, I'm a minority.

And I'm constantly reminded that my views and concerns must give way to the privileges and rights of the dominant race, and a specific interpretation of the faith they profess.

But really what I want to ask you is this: Why do I have to constantly feel afraid in my own country? Why am I continuously told I have less rights to discuss important issues affecting my community?

You promised to be prime minister for all Malaysians. We hope you will remember that promise.

Ouch! That really touched many hearts.

Unfortunately, we still see child/body-snatching cases and we were told with a self-contradictory statement that "justice in court the bigger concern".

Congratulations to Jacqueline Ann Surin, for being listed as one of the four women journalists in Article 19's "Pionnering Women Voices" in conjunction with the Women's International Day last 8th March.

[Source: theSun, pg 11]



And for those wondering for a long time, this is how she looks like.

Jacqueline Ann Surin believes that you cannot be neutral on a moving train. Do you?

Read the full report (PDF) here.

Watch this space. We might invite her to talk at a very meaningful gathering coming to a town near you.

Up next: Susan Loone?

p.s. Maybe her counterpart at Bintang should lick her political masters' balls lesser emulate her.

Monday, March 26, 2007

When It Kills, It Leads (And Sells)!



And those were from the press where the closet communist used to work with.

Related post: If It Bleeds, It Leads

Up next: Stir up some racial quota/special rights/language issue.

Al-Fatihah, Khairy

Al-Fatihah, Khairy. Bin Shamsuri, not that one.

The Next Time You File Your Taxes, This Is How They Are Spent...

Read the full story here.

What else? From megaprojects like the bankrupted InventQ Jaya, failed Bolehwood, outdated Malaysia Microchip, cancelled Crooked Bridge, delayed Matrade and numerous hospitals to your friendly local neighbourhood like dysfunctional clock towers, mind to add on? Mave's the expert on this matter.

And you are not supposed to question how it is spent. Straight to jail will you go - without trial.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

"Communicate Directly With DSAI"

Wah, Google Ads!

Laughable (and Ignorable) Quote of the Day

...the Malaysian Administrative Modernisation and Management Planning Unit (Mampu) and the Malaysia Development Corporation had successfully introduced IT in government departments to enhance work efficiency and improve public delivery system.
[Source]

Try e-mailing any goverment official and see how soon you can get the reply. If not sure, you can always ask Citizen Nades. ;)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Can Someone Sponsor Me For This Full Page Ad?

I still can't get over this ad.

So can someone sponsor me for this ad?

Click on image for larger view.

The main headline quote is here.

The latest LRT glitch is here.

The story on the pole-clutching man in suit is here.

Malaysia mudah lupa. Are you?

Headline You'll Tend To Misinterpret...

If you juxtapose this...

[Source]

...with this...

[Source]

Scary, innit?

Ian McIntyre
and Paul Choo, didn't someone tell you that the word 'shoot/shooter/shooting/shot' is sometimes very sensitive to some people, especialy when you guna it at the wrong place at the wrong time?

Friday, March 23, 2007

China's New 'Tank Man'

Remember this?

Read about the tank man here.

Here's a new one:



Read more about this woman's plight here.

Ah, Gordon!

In Malaysia, we publish a minister's face on a full page to bodek thank him/her.

[Source: theSun page 14, March 22]

In the UK, we publish a minister's face on a full page to vilify him/her for good reasons.

[Source: The Times London, March 22] Read Gordon's Budget Speech if you're interested.

And one is a future PM and the other one...?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Danke, Full Page

[Source: theSun page 14]

I call it "Betting on the right horse"?

There's another 'Danke, Full Page' on page 19 but I won't bother posting it as I could be beheaded.

p.s. That is not a mole on his mouth; probably the webmaster forgot to wipe off an insect dropping from the scanner.

Replanning The Planned Bolehwood Movie Village

Hmm...Bolehwood Movie Village. Sounds familiar?

[Source]

Yup. We had that 7 years ago. With M and Jackie Chan summore.

The E-Village is a private collaboration between Malaysian businessmen, who own 70% of the equity, and British Aerospace Vice President Stephen Colin Grigg, who owns the rest.

Already, Asia's largest sound stage has been completed measuring 50 meters in length, 40 m in width and 16 m in height, large enough to be turned into a small village for feature films.

Adjacent to the sound stage is a ''virtual studio'' for special effects and computer animation.

When the entire 400 million ringgit Studio Precinct is completed over the next three years, it will boast eight studios and other post-production complexes plus a training academy.

Other than the Studio Precinct, two further phases will see the construction of theme parks, convention centers, health farms and shopping complexes.

Comparing other ''E-Villages'' around the world, Entertainment Village (M) Sdn. Bhd. Executive Vice Chairman Ibrahim Abdul Ghaffar said Malaysia is attractive because of its cheaper costs.

That 'over the next three years' should have been 2003. Have you heard any news on it now?

And here's the interesting part:

He also reminded foreign filmmakers intending to come to Malaysia that the country is predominantly Muslim and that they must be ''sensitive not to offend.''


2003 = Mahathir Microchip
2007 = kaMaluddin Microchip
2009 = ??? Microchip

2000 = Mahathir's Bolehwood
2007 = Blah's Bedolwood
2009= ???'s _ _ _ _ _wood

Relaunching the launched, replanning the planned.

Revoting the voted? Remandating the mandated? ;)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

ZAM, Pee Yourself A Puddle of Urine To Reflect On!

Introducing...The Blog Demonizer and Hypocrite



This is what Bernama wrote:

[Source]

To quote:

"The information posted on the blog website may be something provocative, politically motivated, inaccurate and are mostly rumours floated for the interests of certain parties," he said.


And this is what The Star wrote:

[Source]

To quote:

“Sometimes, some newspapers are unable to choose wisely and accept what is written on the web, which is represented by one person or an organisation with political motives.”


Did you spot something missing?

Have I missed out that paper? Oh, they have long Nasty Peed themselves puddles of urine but wouldn't reflect on them.

If I'm not mistaken, Bernama.com and thestar.com.my are also websites. So if the latter with its literally 'newspaper' quotes from the former, is it a liar?

Oh, I have forgotten. They are all 2 x 5 = 5 x 2.

The Day When Marvel Comics Went Mad (Or Not)...

Their copyrighted trademark was being violated...and arrested.

[Frontpage theSun 21st March]

Faux-Tengku 'Women Hater' Adnan will be too pleased to give him a kiss. Photo from Lensa Malaysia.

I wonder what will it look like if this is to happen. Protest banner from Walski.

But free publicity for May the 4th!



Watch the trailer here:



And watch spoiler scenes from the film...



Ah, I like summer...

Er...Cicak-who?

Pictures That Make You Go "Awww....!" (2)

Part 1 here.

Introducing...Knut













And they were going to kill him initially. :(

Full story of Knut here.


All images are copyrighted to GettyImages.

Amir Muhammad Plans Reformasi Film

Is Amir digging another cemetery for himself again? After communists, he is now planning a film for a reformist: Do You Remember The 20th Day Of September?

[Source: theSun]

20th September 1998. It was just a day before the closing ceremony of the 1998 XVI Commonwealth Games in Malaysia, which the Queen attended, as mentioned in the article. Where was I? Hmmm...still in high school where I started to plan my own Reformasi as the Head Prefect was given to Form 5 guy instead of me but that's another whole story so please don't ask...

Visit his official blog here.

Long before there was Taiko and such a thing called blog, we have one of the pioneer online diarists, Sabri Zain, who is now based in Cambridge. He is the one who wrote the book Face Off in which I think Amir's screenplay will be adaptated from it.



Two very familiar blogosphere personalities - a hater and a regular, wrote reviews on that book. You can read the full review by the hater here, and the regular here.

Uncle, you don't mind me exposing your past, do you? :P

Some excerpt from the review:

First, I quote from Rehman Rashid's foreword which he began with a familiar refrain: "Try to remember the kind of September" which I believe stirs a lot of nostalgia among us, of better times past?

Do you spot someone also very familiar there? Yeh, nobody would have expected that almost 9 years later, the quoter of the above (and others too) would be remembered by the quotee as Rectum Ramblers.

Ah, Wednesday the 21st is all about nostalgia...

The man who openly would be the future Prime Minister was sacked. Come 20th September 2008, who will be the Prime Minister of Malaysia? I remembered my father once said this:

The day we were demonising him is the day he will be back as the PM. 10 years later.


Meanwhile, Bogus Mr. Nice Guy gave another orchestrated, script-written/templated Q&A interview to an international news agency and has this to say:

"There are many things that the Malaysian voters would want me to do to fulfil my promise to them and I think that I still have some more work to do -- that's honestly what I believe."

Aiyoh! Don't you feel bored and nauseated?

[Source: theSun]

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The RM112,000 Plaque

[Source]

There's a photo somewhere in that paper (which I'm not interesting of whoring it) if you're interested.


Members of the public can buy five thousand of the enamel-coated pins at RM250 each and they will have to part with RM2,500 for each of the 2,000 gem-studded ones.

Now, with little brains and a blabber mouth, everyone can be a MP!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Tony Pua, ADUN Damansara Utama?

Tony Pua, ADUN Damansara Utama?



He has a nice set of pearly white teeth (besides being an Oxbridge material)...

Image cropped from here.

So you young apathethic Damansara urbanites, will you vote for him? Make sure you have registered yourself though. Click here to check out how you could register.

You Want It Front Page, Boss? Front Page You'll Get!

You Want It Front Page, Boss?

[Source]

Front Page You'll Get!



So, are there no more snatch thefts now?

The Greatest Animal Show on Earth reconvenes today.

Remembering The 4th Anniversary of The Iraq Occupation...

A very satirical video by 'Steve Jobs' on MadTV...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

"My Mom Is Rich and I'm A Spoilt Child"

She has:

1. A black Bose SoundDock for her iPod anywhere in the house.

2. A pool in her house.

3. A 7.2 megapixel Lumix camera with a 28mm wide-angle Leica lens in matte black and loaded with a 2GB memory card.

4. Will be going on a 10-day trip to New Zealand next week, with her buddies.

5. A Nokia E70.

She also reads Malaysia Today and other 'ubiquitous blogs' that vilifies me.

***

I am a spoilt child. I grew up in Tokyo.

In the 80s, Mama got me:

1. My first video game console — the Atari.

2. My first PC, with roman alphabets and the basic hiragana Japanese characters on the keyboard.

3. Nintendo hardware, including both the game console and the portable games.

When I first went off to boarding school, she got a fax machine at home to fax her weekly messages to me.

Happy Mother's Day (UK), Mama!

These roses are from me alma mater, Mama!

Lotsa hugs and love,
KJ.


p.s. Mama should be very proud of me as I'm turning the MSM into my personal bragging blog.

Newspaper Cuttings





[Source]

Ah, those glory ol' times when Kali is still sucking his momma's milk and the SIL is still in his pop's b*llocks and mam's Ftube.

Master Jeles You Never Sayang Them...

Naughty Bintang!

[Source]

[Source]

Naughty Matahari!

[Source: theSun]


Like to quote-quote those blardy 'liars' lar! Why never follow your taiko outbusting leh?



See? Your masters jeles liao you never sayang them. Kena liao lar!