Friday, August 28, 2009

Abit Joo/Liwan Lagang Must Die

This post is alternatively named "Vote BN, Free Weight Loss Programme (Bonus: Get Your Daughters Laid)"

A: Why so seditious the title?

B: No harm intended. Just look at who they are:



[Source]

Y.B. Encik Liwan Lagang - N.57 Belaga - Parti Rakyat Sarawak (PRS-BN)

A: Why die lar?

B: If die, got buy-election. No food? Poof! It's raining instant noodles? Daughter raped? Poof! Will be unraped and revirginized. No bridge? Poof! Golden crooked bridge built!

A: 52 years Merdeka liao woh? Why like Third World Country liddat?

B: *cough*Kafir lar*cough*

A: No bridge, use helicopter lar!

B: Helicopters are reserved for DPMs. During buy-elections.

A: I heard Tiong is a timber tycoon also. Is he involved?

B: Who gives a fcuk? When election, pangkah je! They still win wat?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Deplorable State of Our Mainstream Media Journalists (2)

A: S. Subramaniam tu sapa?

B: Tuan.

A: Siapa tuan?

B: Tuan Melayu, beb.

A: Aiks? Nama macam k****g, muka macam k****g, tapi bukan k****g?

B: Bukan. Tapi itu HINDRAF sekarang sudah geng Tuan. *batuk*Buah Pala*batuk*

A: Oh, poyo giler!

[Source, and another bahlol, who didn't even verify the news before publishing it.]

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Deplorable State of Our Mainstream Media Journalists

A: Karpal tu adik Semi Value?

B: Ya. Gang MIC.

A: We tu apa?

B: We...wisel. Prit! Prit!

A: PR tu apa?

B: Bodoh.

A: PAS tu apa?

B: Bacul.

A: DAP tu apa?

B: Hina.

A: PKR tu apa?

B: Liwat.

A: BN tu apa?

B: Tuhan.

A: Aik, apesal?

B: Pasai mereka kasi I RM 50 dan makan percuma.

A: Ultra vires tu apa?

B: Virus yang ultra.

A: Ultra tu apa?

B: Ultraman. Piang! Piang!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Latin Law Terms Glossary 101 by Utusan Meloya

Actus Reus = dubur dan rectum Wolfgang Amadeus

Ad Hoc = nama poyo untuk Ahmad Hossin Camarul

Ad Idem = nama singkatan untuk Ahmad Idham

Ad Infinitum = Ahmad Tanpa Batasan

Ad Litem = Ahmad Rosli dari KUSTEM

Amicus Curiae = saudara Marie Curie (yang XXRay tu...)

Ante = terjemahan terus Bahasa Ketuanan untuk Bahasa Penjajah "Auntie"

Bona Fide = Roh Mona Fandey yang belum mati

Bona Vacantia = perempuan cantik Latin macam kat TV

Compos Mentis = nama campuran Coke + Mentos + Pepsi = Meletupp!!!

De Bonis Non Administratis = Mati pucuk = 'Tulang Tak Masuk' (The Bone Does Not Admit) ;-)

De Facto = Fakta Itu

De Jure = Juri Itu

Doli Incapax = Dolly (Klon Kambing) Dikapak

Erratum = Erra Fazira Lakon Bollywood...Tum paas aaye, yun muskuraaye, Tumne na jaane kya sapne dikhaaye

Ex Gratia = Bekas teman wanita

Ex Officio = Bekas menteri

Ex Parte = Lepas parti majlis keramaian

Ex Post Facto = Lepas pejabat pos, pusing kanan...

Forum Conveniens = Tempat musyawarah untuk Kerajaan Perpaduan

Functus Officio = Menteri yang funky

Habeas Corpus = Polis Habis Selesai ...

Ibid = Nama bandar ciplak Ubud (kat Bali)

In Camera = Dalam kamera

In Curia = Dalam Marie Curie

In Personam = Dalam peribadi

Inter Alia = Dalam Itali

Mens Rea = Lelaki gembira

Mutatis Mutandis = Ahli terbaru X Men yang mutant

Nota Bene = Buku nota

Nulla Bona = Adik perempuan Nallakaruppan

Prima Facie = Saluran TV propaganda kelima Media Prima

Pro Bono = Sokong Bono (U2)

Pro Forma = Suka isi borang

Pro Rata = Suka meratakan tanah, macam kat Kampung Berembang

Semble = Cara Omputeh cakap 'sambal'

Sine Die = Mati di sini

Sub Judice = Yellow Submarine + Hey Jude = Beatles Poyo Giler!!!

Subpoena ad Testificum = Iklan Z@k@r dan buah z@k@r

and last but not least,

Ultra Vires = Virus yang ultra, dikira menghina lah tu!

For the real list, click here.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

"Dear Readers...Luv, Dotty"

Dear beloved readers,

Yeah, yeah, shaddup already! I knew some of you can't access my site. Screw my webmasters! I've already packed in some C4s. Problem settled now. Clean.

Now, now, where were we? Oh wow, thank you for the overwhelming response! So do you guys (no gals allowed here, keep your dirty hands off my 1Jibby!) here like my pink theme? Oh, my hair! My hair! You all like it? That's 1Thousand quids...the same hairdresser Posh Becks got, ya' know? (Shh...don't tell the taxpayers!)

Well, what should I write in my 1St post? Hmmm...what about this 1Beotch.



This 1Beotch, aitelya! Was playing 1Eye with 1Jibby in the lift! Thinking that this 1Wife is not around! I told her that there is only 1Husband for 1Wife in 1Malaysia! Anyhoos, my docs advised me not to pressure up too much. My 1Body will explode soon, he said. :-( Both of them are already in my 1Guruji list now. Will be cleaned up soon. ;-)

Oopps, my 1Flight to London is up now. Can't blog more. See ya' all soon. Ciao!

Luv,
Dotty.